Why Do Some People Have Trouble Asking For Help?

We all go through difficult times or circumstances in which we need someone close to help us. However, even in this context,  some people find it difficult to ask for help.  This difficulty, which can be motivated by several reasons, blocks our way and prevents us from moving forward.

Many people find it difficult to ask for help. For them, it is a demonstration of weakness, they do not have the social skills for it, they do not know who to turn to, etc.

Thus, they end up facing all the difficulties alone. Sometimes they would rather fail than ask for help. Here are some of the reasons why a person can have such a hard time asking for help:

Mistaken beliefs

Many people think that we should not waste time for others to help us or listen to us, or that they will have other things to do than help us.

It is a very popular belief that alienates us from others and from asking for their help.

Lack of assertiveness

Assertive rights include the right to ask for help  knowing that others may or may not offer it.

To be assertive is to defend your needs, by communicating what you believe, think or need in a clear and open manner.

Why do some find it hard to ask for help? Low self-esteem

Related to the previous point,  not being able to ask for help is linked to low self-esteem. Indeed, the person underestimates and omits his own needs, placing those of others before his own.

Low self-esteem is found under  high levels of self-demand and overcoming. Therefore, asking for help from other people cannot be interpreted as a confirmation of inferiority or weakness.

Exclusion of liability

Another possible reason is to think that if we are doing badly, others should help us if they want to. It is common to see people who have difficulty asking for help ascribing the responsibility to others. They kind of accuse them of not helping them.

Pride

Closely linked to the previous point, the pride  is one of the main causes for not asking for help. It is very satisfying to do something yourself, to surpass yourself, to validate yourself. Nonetheless, it is a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, because of pride, they can blame others for their lack of help, in addition to failing in this task. On the other hand, overcoming an obstacle or a task is more about showing others your abilities than the personal satisfaction of having done something.

Why do some find it difficult to ask for help? Negative experiences

The person may have asked for help unsuccessfully on one or more occasions in the past. This, and more particularly if it is related to the previous reasons, will cause the person who generalizes this experience and will not have confidence in future opportunities.

Fear of rejection

In addition, one of the main reasons for not asking for help is to be afraid of being rejected. Fear that others may or may not want to help us.

That, instead of denying the right per se to ask for help, denies the right of the rights to say no. Thus, the person shows little understanding and lacks confidence in the face of a possible negative response.

How to ask for help?

In the event that you are going through difficulties, here is a formula that can be useful for asking for help:

• Talk about the problem you have  and what need it causes
• Speak up confidently: you don’t have the right to ask for help, but you can ask for it
• Trust the other person,  their good intentions and their honesty to let you know if they can help you or not

• Be generous, be grateful for the help or the intention, although the help is not effective in solving the problem. And, of course, understand the reasons

Anyone who has trouble asking for help ends up feeling lonely. People tend to move away. They fail to really know them and it ends in enormous frustration.

This is why it is important to know  that asking for help is part of our rights  and surely, besides being useful to oneself, makes those around us happy.

Our thoughts

When do we need help? When should we seek out a helping hand or request and end up walking alone? When does external help …