What’s The Point Of Forgiving And Moving On?
If you’ve been hurt at times or been through a difficult situation, you might have wondered if it’s worth forgiving. You may have felt the difficulty in doing this. In all safety you have then no doubt confused forgiving with forgetting. It is certain that once someone has hurt you, turning the page is not easy.
Forgetting is a process of memory (memory process) which depends almost exclusively on the time and the context in which you find yourself. The forgetfulness is the result that comes when we cease to use the information stored in our brains while forgiveness is tantamount to remember while remaining not only rooted in the emotion generated by the memory.
The truth is that there is not much we can do to forget since forgetting is the result of the passage of time. So it will be easier to forget what we do not have contact with. For example, if we move away from a place, we avoid seeing a person or going through a situation, it will be easier and faster for us to forget. For this reason we must step back and wait to forget.
However, forgiving is something different. To do so means that “ although I remember what happened, although I remember the pain inflicted, I can turn the page and move forward ”. To do this is to stop thinking about revenge, to stop thinking about the injustice associated with the situation and to be able to reposition the emotions in the past without affecting our present or our future.
Have you thought about the difference between forgiveness and forgetting? Being aware of the difference between these two words is essential to be able to move on. Do you know why ? Because you will never forget the one who hurt you, you will never forget that pain, but you can learn to live with it and leave it all behind.
Why is it necessary to learn to forgive?
Turning the page breaks the existing link with pain. It is about putting aside the pain and gradually extinguishing the flames of anger, rage and revenge. In this way, you will be free to start a new life. Succeeding in this will allow you to begin a new phase of your life in which pain and anxiety will characterize a moment in your past but not in your present.
In addition, forgiving will allow you to be in control of your time and to use your energy 100%. When a person has unresolved conflicts or unresolved milestones his mind devotes a great deal of time and energy (without realizing it) to finalizing and closing these “pending tasks”. Having to “forgive someone” prompts you to devote your psychological resources to this task. And therefore, to generate significant emotional exhaustion.
Resolving your conflicts also makes you feel more secure and at peace with yourself. It helps you move forward. Look to the future without negative emotional charges that absorb your energy and motivation. Someone who forgives empties his emotional bag and motivates himself with the challenges of the future. It takes with it a feeling of inner peace that cannot be substituted and is 100% necessary when we want to live fully.
Forgive: a way to take the reins of your happiness
With this approach, it is very interesting to reflect on an aspect of forgiveness that few people take into account. When you forgive, you are doing it for yourself and not for the one who hurt you. To do this is not a gift you give to the one who made you suffer, but a gift that you give to yourself personally. If you don’t forgive it is good for the other person whereas if you forgive it is good for you in the first instance. You allow yourself to accept pain and suffering by leaving it in the past.
On the other hand, forgiving is inevitable in order to be a guide and a leader. But, you may have to forgive yourself personally. To be the leader of your life, you must forgive your mistakes, your failures, your weaknesses, your regrets, your personal wounds. Thus, you can continue with a large list of circumstances that you will have to “forgive yourself”.
One achieves personal fulfillment only through forgiveness and reconciliation with oneself. Once that is done, focus your energy on creating the best version of yourself and on establishing a vital project as a human being. When you forgive, you learn to deal with forgiveness. You feel free to decide what affects you or not. What prevents you from moving forward or not. So that you can focus on yourself.
Forgiveness is not an easy task, but neither is it impossible. Besides, there are different psychotherapy exercises that can help you forgive. The first step is to focus on the present and the future by taking responsibility for the here and now and being in control of your emotions. Little by little, we get there.
Our thoughts What is forgiveness for? What is its use and how to tune it?
