The Sad Charm Of Impossible Loves

Who has never succumbed to the sweetness and sorrows of impossible loves? The typical example in this category is adolescent love. The way you felt for the English teacher. A platonic love that fed on a look or a smile. Which led to big dreams but never formulated concrete goals. You even took pleasure in thinking of this love in this way.

There are also, of course, those impossible loves for a singer, an actress, a person who is famous. We then deposit this love in this someone we see, even if that person has no idea of ​​our existence. She is considered a close person when she is actually light years away. Even knowing this, many adolescents, youth and adults have experienced it.

“Love is like a war, easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget.”

-Henry Louis Mencken-

Strictly speaking, impossible loves abound. Those that are born, light up but are placed under the shadow of bad luck or real obstacles. These are feelings that are intensely lived and somehow never die.

There are many types of impossible loves

Experts in this field say that there are three types of impossible love. One is called “phantom love”, the second is “narcissistic love” and the third is “difficult love”. The first is those cases where you fall in love with someone who doesn’t exist. You need to love and attribute to a person certain characteristics and virtues that he does not have in reality. Almost always, this person represents a way to fill the gaps that arise from childhood.

The second type corresponds to impossible loves of the narcissistic type. Their impossibility is that you never find this type of love. You think you deserve a perfect person so much that you can spend your entire life looking for them without meeting them. It comes down to loving from the void, to craving an exalted version of your ego. This type of impossible love can only lead to loneliness. No one is coming to you to turn the dream into reality.

Finally, we find love that is impossible due to any type of difficulty. These are loves that have great difficulty in materializing. Certain very specific circumstances make them very difficult. For example, the person is already engaged with someone. Or it is someone who, quite simply, is not in love with you. In other cases, one can even meet strong religious or ideological oppositions that prevent any relationship.

In this group, we can also place cases of great love that becomes impossible due to the death of one of the two people. She dies, but the love that unites you to her does not end. For a while you get stuck in the contradiction of loving someone who no longer exists.

The charm of impossible loves

It is the impossible loves that push us to discover this or this poet that we carry within us. The most pragmatic have never experienced it, but they have lost the opportunity to experience something hellish and wonderful at the same time. All loves need a dose of impossibility to be preserved, to maintain a strong desire. And when this impossibility is absolute, the soul burns together with the creativity and the desire to live and die in a single instant.

Impossibility in love is more or less experienced as a vital tragedy. At least that’s what it feels like when you struggle to turn it into reality. These loves torment you and place you in the paradox of not being able to abandon them, nor to reach them. We suffer and we rejoice. As if it were a question of happiness and an abyss that were embracing each other.

Despite everything, they have a unique charm. They test you, test you in the depths of your being. And, if there is anything certain, it is that they are never forgotten. You never remember it with indifference. They fade over time, fill with reality, but never cease to be a spark that makes your heart leap from time to time.

It is only rarely that impossible loves turn into obstacles. It happens when you fail to let go of the fantasy and blindly cling to it. When you fail to get over the frustration that comes with accepting that it can’t happen in reality. In these specific cases, love leads to terrible pain and can even cause health problems. But to learn to love truly, these impossible loves constitute, without a doubt, an excellent school.