Happy Memories Also Leave Scars

As Audrey Hepburn said, to be happy you have to have “a bad memory”.

Indeed, in psychology, many agree to say that from the moment we think of the future, we are anxious, but that on the other hand, when we think of the past, it is depression that invades us.

But, what about happy memories?

We have all been confronted with the paradox of remembering happy moments in our lives, and of being overcome with a deep sadness, emanating from the feeling that what was will not be anymore.

In these moments, our voice is generally tinged with a hint of nostalgia, as if we could hear the echo of a bygone era for a moment.

So, when we start our mental time machine, even if we transport ourselves to a moment in our life that we remember fondly, it can disturb our mood.

Even the punishment that we could not receive after having deceived someone seems to us then, in the light of our mind, profitable.

Thus, good memories lull the bad ones, and also leave scars.

“Sometimes happy memories are the hardest to overcome.”

-Buscando to Eric-

The mistake we make when we remember things and think that in the meantime we haven’t changed

Sometimes we persist in remembering the past by convincing ourselves that not much has changed. We’re still the same, adding up wrinkles and debt.

Sometimes remembering is the only way to feel good, to have fun or to talk for a moment with someone who left us saying goodbye or not, explaining himself or not; any good memory can hide regret.

“We make a mistake when we look at yesterday with our eyes today,
when we want things to go back to their way before
even though we ourselves have changed.
We then wonder how certain moments could be recycled,
how to give the same kiss a second time.
The dumb do not cry, the deaf do not see the music,
with these seven letters that are written too late
and that you can no longer write today,
the love that has been, and will never return. ”

-Marwan-

You can’t have the same experience twice. Most of our experiences are beautiful because they have come to an end.

Perhaps we should actually assume that this period of our life was wonderful, and reserve a very special place for it in our soul.

This is the first step to take if we want to belong to this special group, to this profession with a bright future, to this creator of wonderful times.

Happy memories always remain if you leave them alone

Desires are actually good memories that move into the future.

We all want to feel that special feeling that we experience when we remember a day in our past that paralyzed our body and mind.

The memory has constructed details of the memory that we did not know how to integrate at the time.

“ There is no greater pain than the pain you feel when you are unhappy and think back to when you were happy.”

-Dante Alighieri-

Indeed, when we are badly, it is more painful to rethink a happy memory than a sad memory ; the latter proves to you that in your life, everything has always been done to make you unhappy.

However, when you recall a happy memory, you say to yourself: “Am I wasting the best years of my life so as not to feel again what today I consider to be one of the most beautiful moments of my life? my life ?”.

The scar left by the bad memory hurts you, and can make you feel angry or hateful.

The scar left by the good memory bleeds, but evokes, with sadness and melancholy, better times.

What can you do to get the scar of good memories to heal you?

It is like a love which would not have evolved, and which would remain eternally in its first phase of idealization.

The best way to break this aura is to confront it with the reality  of the people who shared this moment with you, and who can give you a more realistic view of what happened, and how you felt.

When you integrate the memory as a whole and stop seeing it as a romantic movie… then you realize that nothing that happens to you is absolutely good or bad, but nuanced.

It is by truly savoring something good and sweet that one prepares to appreciate it again.

Forget the mistake you may have made in looking to the past, and open your eyes to this new path that is opening up to you.

Seen with a realistic eye, happy memories will not cease to be so. On the other hand, you will no longer be overwhelmed by the feeling that all the good is gone.

So your happy memories will no longer be scars, but traces of what you have been through, as comfortable as your feet sinking in wet sand.

You like the feeling that these traces give you. In addition, they will allow you to walk in another direction, with pleasure.