Falling Will Help Me Get Up

Falling has a lot of negative connotations. That’s why no one among us likes to be in this state of mind. We believe that if by any chance we stumble, we will hit rock bottom, and that will mean we have failed. However…  Have you ever wondered if falling might actually be necessary?

Negative emotions are not there to hurt us or to complicate our lives. Like positive emotions, they have an adaptive function. But for us it is not that simple. Who likes to describe themselves as sad? Who can bear this feeling of being broken? We have been taught to escape from it all and we have even developed the ability to avoid it.

“The greatest glory is not never to fall, but to get up again with each fall. “

-Nelson Mandela-

“There is no point in crying”, “Your destiny is to find happiness, not to be a sad person” …  Emotions respond to the different experiences that we live, whether in the present or in the form of a memory. No one will ever live in eternal and absolute happiness. What we feel complements and helps us, even though we often think it isn’t.

Falling will help you ask for help

We all need help in certain situations, but our pride makes us try to find solutions to our problems without anyone’s help. We don’t realize that this often doesn’t work. It’s not a matter of not being as strong as we think we are: we don’t know everything and a helping hand can help us guide our decisions in the best way. And even change the way, when it is not working very well, of dealing with the circumstances.

Falling does not mean that you have failed. Certainly you have sunk so deep that you cannot descend any lower. Regardless, if you look on the bright side, it means you have no other option but to go up. Even if you find it hard to believe it, you know that sooner or later you will do it. Because when you stay at the bottom of the well, the step to take is to start over.

You will leave behind whatever got you in this situation. The time you spent feeling sad, lamenting, and dealing with the pain has helped you build up new strength. Those same forces that now make you think about getting up all at once because you can’t fall any lower.

“I fell because I was moving forward. And moving forward is worth it, even if you fall. “

-Eduardo Galeano-

Do you know what happens when you come back up? You are leaving your past behind. You will start a new journey, sure of yourself thanks to everything you have learned and surely in the presence of one or more great friends. Because when you let go of self-sufficiency and needed support, who came to your side? Don’t lose sight of these people.

You have to face difficult situations

Don’t confuse the reality of falling into a hole of sadness, pain, anguish, and hopelessness with the fear of facing the problem that tortures you. We sometimes take refuge in grief, we complain, we feel like victims. All this in order not to face reality.

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to feel bad than to face problems? This is because struggling takes effort and, very often, we don’t know whether we will come out a winner or a loser. It is a risk that we must take. But  fear urges you not to step outside of this comfort zone,  full of circumstances that you allow to affect you by standing still.

Consider, for example, the harsh divorce process. After years of relationship with your spouse, everything fell apart. You have fallen into a circle of disenchantment, fear of loneliness, lack of love, you think that you will not meet anyone again… Your life ended with this divorce. What you think in this case is not real. It is a consequence of how you feel.

It is normal for you to feel bad and sad for a while. We are beings with emotions, not stones. But just as it can pull us back, it can push us forward as well. You are at the bottom of this well. You have already spent a considerable amount of time there, during which nothing has moved forward or backward. Now is the time to change.

“Blessed are those who are at the bottom of the well because they can only make progress. “

-Joan Manuel Serrat-

Take advantage of this moment when you are at the bottom of the hole to put your ideas in order. Anticipate how you want things to be from now on, and most importantly, accept your pain. When the emotions stop being so “on edge” you will begin to realize that all is not lost. Your life is not over, it is starting now.

Sometimes we need to stop to recover from certain circumstances that have hurt us or seriously affected us. We have the right to take our time. We will regain our strength, bring order to our chaos, and be prepared to move forward. And, before you even know it, you will have become a much stronger person.