Don’t Let Negative Experiences Control Your Life

Our life is a continuous succession of experiences that we have, that we share and that we feel, regardless of whether they are positive or negative.

Like everything, negative experiences are the ones that mark the most, because our natural state, the one that makes us the happiest, is the one where everything is going well. We are “on the rise”, and we are aware of time and of our own existence.

Negative experiences are necessary in our life. They can help us lead, learn to make better choices, and know how to discern what we want and what we don’t want.

Ultimately, any experience, but especially the negative ones, helps us to be better people.

But what happens when it doesn’t happen like that? What happens when these experiences control our life?

When experiences control me

You may think that the negative experiences you are having, instead of improving your life, make it worse. We mean they condition you.

For example, think about the situations we are going to describe here that you may have experienced before:

• If someone publicly humiliates me by criticizing what I do, in the future I will avoid saying what I think so that it doesn’t happen again.
• If my partner accuses me of our breakup, maybe in my next relationship, I will act with caution and submission.

• I always try to think like other people so that they don’t freak me out and accept me.

There is something natural about these situations, and many more, which is the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of the pain that negative experiences generate.

But sometimes this fear of finding ourselves helpless in the face of an unexpected situation that hurts us, makes us put on a mask that hides what we cannot heal. 

These masks make us show ourselves as we are not and that instead of facing our problems, we enlarge the wound and the pain.

In my life, it’s me who’s in charge

Although negative experiences hurt and affect us, we should not allow them to control and direct our lives.

Only we can decide how we are going to live our life, how we want to act, how we want to proceed …

Experiences should move us forward, improve us, but never back down. And of course, experiences should never bring about our unhappiness.

How to act in the face of negative experiences?

• Never feel disappointed in yourself, and don’t blame yourself all the time. What happened is past, now is the time to move forward, with confidence and positivity.
• Don’t let your feelings overwhelm you and sink you into sadness that is hard to come out of. Feel them but don’t let them form a tsunami . Shout: “Enough!” and continue.
• Do not get carried away by your thoughts as they will confuse you and paralyze you in the face of the situation. Face your thoughts and start taking action.
• Make active choices in your life, be the one person who chooses how to live, and dodge all negative experiences that force you to change your path.

It is obvious that negative experiences cause insecurity, doubts, discomfort, sadness… but, all of this can be overcome and you alone have the power to do it.

If you want to get out of this situation, you have to start fighting against those feelings that are going over you like a bad tide.

Avoid confused thoughts that will do nothing but cripple you, and get serious about what you want.

No one is saying that you shouldn’t feel this insecurity, assimilate it, and experience it, but it shouldn’t be controlling you.

Look at negative experiences as situations that you have to learn from.

From the negative, we can come out with something positive, something that only we can find, something that only we can experience.