7 Keys To Developing A Resilient Brain In Children
Developing a resilient brain in children is a goal that, when achieved, has enormous value. We know that our children are capable of extraordinary things. However, our greatest desire is for them to be happy. For that, nothing better than to teach them to control by themselves the resources which can allow them to face these daily challenges which can arise at any time.
The word “resilience” is all the rage; it can be found in any self-help book or personal development manual. So we also know that the idea that resilience represents is not new, although it is somewhat new today, now that we have started to study its effect more rigorously.
Viktor Frankl has already defined the basics of resilience for us in several of his books. He did this by teaching us, for example, how some people cope with adversity through their inner strengths, their shells, their goals and their approaches.
Therefore, if these resources are so inspiring, why not pass them on to the children? Doing so will involve something more than giving them simple techniques to better cope with the challenges they may encounter. In fact, resilience builds in them, as well as in us, a new mentality. It gives shape to stronger brains, with better resistance to stress and more skillful executive functions.
The effort is well worth it. Developing a resilient brain in children is possible by applying the following strategies.
The need to “educate” a resilient brain
When we face adversity, our brains experience stress and emotional angst. Thus, this type of response is initiated and prepared in a very concrete place: the cerebral amygdala.
This structure is responsible for our responses associated with fear, and it is also this structure that sends the necessary messages to the brain to release adrenaline and cortisol as quickly as possible. “We must react, we must escape as quickly as possible from this threatening stimulus!” , he tells us.
However, when the amygdala, this sentinel of fear, takes control, something very characteristic happens: the prefrontal cortex loses its functionality. In other words, our ability to analyze the situation objectively or to think about the problem completely decreases. We let ourselves be carried away by this emotional sequestration dominated by fear without being able to see any way out, without having this internal calm thanks to which to build a way of escape.
If we were able to educate children to have more resilient brains, it wouldn’t happen, or at least not that often. Because resilience fundamentally involves calming the amygdala to activate the prefrontal cortex. To reduce stress to develop a more open, reflective and strong mentality. Let’s see, in the rest of this article, how to get there.
Probably most of you think that when it comes to educating more resilient children, nothing could be better than teaching them to be self-reliant and independent. In fact, more than self-reliance, what is essential for developing a resilient brain is emotional connection.
Children need a healthy, strong, and strong attachment. They need people of reference who offer them love, security and protection. All of this gives shape to a brain that experiences neither fear nor stress. Because a strong brain that has not had premature experiences of insecurity or fear is a brain that, in the long run, will cope more effectively with life’s problems. The absence of these traces determines a stronger, more flexible and more receptive mind.
As we reported at the start of this article, our goal is to calm the amygdala (i.e. fear) and strengthen the prefrontal cortex (i.e. executive functions). Thus, we will offer resources to the child so that he is able to solve the problems he will face, to focus his attention and to be creative when the challenges arise, be they big or small. All this will prevent the child from remaining paralyzed by fear or anguish.
Strategies for developing executive functions in children are as follows:
- Establish routines
- Model healthy social behaviors
- Foster social connection with people you trust
- Allow them to seize opportunities to establish their own connections with their peers (camping, sport, etc.)
- Make creative games
- Indulge in memory games
- Let them make their own decisions
Another great way to build resilient brains in children is through mindfulness. Being able to connect with the present moment in a relaxed way improves brain connection, releases stress and promotes strengthening of executive functions. If you introduce this practice into the lives of children from an early age, you will see the great benefits.
A child must see himself as competent on a daily basis, as someone capable of learning from his mistakes in order to improve himself, as someone who can surpass himself every day to master new skills and other skills more effectively. This feeling, that of counting on our support and recognition, will allow him to make better decisions little by little.
Realistic optimism can be of great help to children. Let us show them that any reality that may contain problematic nuances can be seen in terms of personal surpassing. Thus, this is where their real value will reside.
In order to develop a resilient brain in children, it is necessary to help children deal with their negative valence emotions, such as fear. The first thing we can offer them is an idea: asking for help, other than recommendable, is needed. In addition, those who ask for help are courageous enough to recognize their vulnerability, their needs, and to take a step towards deeper relationships.
Helping others and allowing them to help us is a dynamic that children must establish from an early age in their lives. Thus, fears will be smaller, they will lose their power and eventually disappear.
This suggestion is as fun as it is helpful. From the age of 5, a child is already capable of learning to solve simple problems.
Providing her with a “problem-solving toolkit” for her daily life and showing her how to use it will help her mature. As they grow older, it will be the children who will perfect the use of these tools and adapt them to their circumstances.
Thus, this problem solving toolkit may contain the following strategies:
What to do when something is worrying me:
- Consult my dad or my mom
- Ask someone you trust for help or advice
- If I have encountered this problem in the past, think about how I managed to solve it. Can I do the same today?
- Understand that any problem, no matter how big, can break down into smaller pieces to be solved one by one
To conclude, one could say that developing, shaping and nurturing resilient brains in children requires education based on secure attachment and in which we provide our children with a solid foundation through strategies that can be used to face and solve problems.
What we are talking about here is a type of active and creative education, where the adult serves as a point of reference and an example. Such a project determines a great responsibility on our part: we are referring here to an adventure that will always be worth it.
Our thoughts 
