Respect Your Own Pace And That Of Others

To be and to let be. This simple and elementary principle is however not really applied. We are not all aware that each of us has a rhythm, an inner music and a way of seeing and feeling things. Maybe for that, we feel obliged to protect ourselves from those who dare to disagree with us and play with our emotions as they please.

So it’s about rhythm. It is a subject as delicate as it is unknown, of which we are not always aware. But, even worse: today, we are almost obsessed with accelerating this pace at all levels. Children should learn to read and write as early as possible. Adolescents should behave like adults and we adults spend our time comparing ourselves to the rhythms of others.

“Be yourself, the others are already taken.”

-Oscar Wilde-

We forget that in order to aspire to true inner harmony, we must not take money, power, prestige as references and even less spend our time thinking about what we lack and what others have already obtained. If we keep this pattern of life, the only thing we will achieve is begging and moving in circles, to the rhythm of coarse and chaotic music.

True harmony begins with oneself. It is only when we achieve calm, self-knowledge and this humility of heart where nothing is too much and nothing is lacking, that the world balances itself as if by magic. No matter how fast this world is, it doesn’t matter what other people’s demands are: because the beacon of happiness is within us.

In the book Alice Through the Looking Glass , Lewis Carroll offers us a moment of reflection that scientists and sociologists have used to develop the famous “Red Queen Hypothesis”. When Alice arrives in this character’s land, and after a conversation, the Queen takes her by the hand to start a race. She has to do it because in this world everyone is running and everyone is running fast.

It doesn’t take long for Alice to realize that even though she is going as fast as possible, she is not moving forward. After a while, the Queen explained the reason to him: “ Here, it is important to run a lot to stay in one place. But, to get to another place, you have to run twice as fast ”. In our society, the same is happening. If we speed up the pace of the child beyond what is good for his age, then we increase the likelihood that he will be successful in school.

If we demonstrate to the rest that we can offer and do more than is within our possibilities, perhaps we will achieve triumph. Yet the only thing we achieve is misfortune. We are surrounded by a fierce and demanding environment that asks us to go ever faster, which robs us of time, calm and even life.

You should know that in a world where everyone is running, nothing grows. Because everything in life requires a moment of cooking, a moment of elaboration and maceration … Thus, to achieve this interior harmony, it is important to establish an interior connection with our being in order to put into practice something very difficult: stop being what others expect us to be.

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Respect your rhythms and that of others

We are like spinning tops doing tricks in a dance hall. Some go faster, others slower, others stop every now and then and the rest go at such a frantic speed that they end up bumping into each other. Learning to be and to let be is not easy and it is common to feel overwhelmed by events.

Understand the rhythm of your heart, pay attention to the cycles of nature, and respect the inner music that gives strength to each person.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains to us in his book The Evolutionary Self that there are very many people who consult a psychologist looking for a “quick” lesson in personal development. They arrive with such a high level of saturation that they seek quick solutions to their despair.

But there are no miracles up the sleeve, nor magic bandages for the ill-being of life. It is essential to understand that even the processes of healing and rebuilding self-esteem are things that take time. In fact, as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains to us, the more anxious we are, the less we have the possibility of achieving this balance of life, where everything flows naturally.

How to find your inner rhythm and music?

It is clear to achieve this inner calm we need daily time, willpower, and dedication. Once we understand that all change comes with responsibility, we can apply the following strategies:

• Be aware of your personal “baggage”. Education received, extreme perfectionism, the need to please or low self-esteem are clear enemies to be aware of and to think about.
• Now analyze your habits. What do you do in your daily life? What are the facts that make you anxious or dissatisfied? Why have you accepted them as habits if they make you unhappy?
• Get as much quality time as possible. If the day is 24 hours, you can’t devote 12 hours to others, or occupy them with things that are not so important to you. Know that the concept of “taking it easy” cannot be achieved in inactivity or in a state of relaxation. It is about devoting oneself to tasks that identify us, that make sense to us, that give us rhythm, satisfaction and therefore happiness. Find them.

To conclude, you have to understand that carrying your own path within yourself is at a concrete stage in your personal development. Some people will take longer than others to figure things out, and that’s why there are no options other than patience and respect. So let’s learn to let the world run while we focus on our own center.

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Images of Hajin Bae