Why Are We Attracted To Narcissistic People?

Narcissists may be egocentric and exploitative, but they captivate us and make us melt with love.

A recent psychological study determined that we were strangely drawn to narcissistic people, to their egotistical personalities, to their dominance, and even to their hostility.

Even psychologists suffer from this fascination with narcissistic people and wonder how they can have so much influence on others and why they embody so many paradoxes.

The charm of the narcissist

Social psychologist Mitja Back and her colleagues decided to study narcissism.

They asked 73 students, who did not know each other, to introduce themselves to the others one by one. Each person’s sympathy was assessed by others by completing various questionnaires, and an assessment of narcissistic personality traits was performed.

The results showed that:

1. Narcissistic people are more popular. They are greatly appreciated by others than people who are not narcissists.

2. Participants value the authority of narcissists. In the assessment questionnaires, the students considered four aspects of narcissism: leadership / authority, egocentricity / self-admiration, arrogance / superiority and the tendency to exploit.

3. Narcissists like their appearance, the tone of their voice and the dominance of their movements. They often have an enchanting and attractive air once you get to know them.

If narcissists are more popular it is because they know how to use a facial expression and which voice to adopt to instill confidence, they dress trendy and are a lot of fun.

Obviously, this effect can only be observed in the short term. Indeed, narcissists are quickly unmasked and immediately rejected.

Few people put up with a friend who takes advantage of them, who is egocentric, bossy, and arrogant.

The paradoxes of narcissistic people

There are many paradoxes in the behavior of narcissists and in the way they act.

The psychological study identified several questions to which it tried to find answers:

• Why do narcissists continue to act selfishly when they know it can ruin their relationships with others?

• Why do narcissists tend to underestimate others when they themselves are admired and then rejected?
• Why can’t they identify when it is time to stop their behavior before being abandoned?

The first two questions can be partially explained by the fact that initially this behavior attracts others.

For narcissists, behaving in a selfish manner causes the admiration of others.

On the other hand, underestimating those who reject them is a form of escape route to find new “victims” who will adulate them.

Finally, this is the reason why narcissists do not detect the opportune moment to stop before losing their other half or their friends.

The attraction they generate in others cannot last forever. A person who would like to criticize the attitude of a narcissist, flees before confronting him.

Narcissists and Reality Show: a perfect marriage

P our narcissistic, the best way to show today is the reality show. Indeed, this study clearly demonstrates why narcissists are the perfect participants for this kind of program:

They immediately capture our attention and sympathy with their self-confident behavior. In addition, they are showy and arrogant.

Later, when we manage to discover their true nature, we tend to reject them. All of these feelings mean that we can’t take ourselves off the screen anymore.

Applying the lessons of this study, it can be said that narcissists should not be encouraged by paying attention to them or provoking them.

They can not only hurt us, but also drag us inexorably into the vicious cycle of attraction and rejection.