Rebecca Syndrome, Or The Sickly Jealousy Of Ex
Is your mind all turned upside down when you remember the beauty of your old love? You think your last romance was not healthy, but do you mind being told? Do you compare yourself with your current partner’s exes?
In psychology, this disorder is known as ” Rebecca syndrome “. Read the rest of this article to learn more about this phenomenon!
“Rebecca” is a novel published in 1938, written by Daphné du Maurier. It tells the story of a woman who marries a widowed man. Everything goes wonderfully, until the day when the ghost of Rebecca, the missing wife, appears.
This spirit continually torments the husband to part with his new wife. In addition to causing fear, the ghost manages to insinuate insecurity into the mind of her husband, who is no longer sure he wants to start a new family, as it could be the source of many conflicts.
Rebecca tells Maxime that the “news” will never live up to her, that everyone is talking behind their backs, that no one loves her and that she is not a woman for him.
The book was a huge success when it was released, and it had two adaptations, one radio by the genius Orson Welles, and another cinematographic, by the great Alfred Hitchcock.
Based on this novel, psychologists began to call “Rebecca syndrome” the fact that some people suffer from pathological jealousy towards the ex-boyfriends of their current partner.
As in the book, jealousy becomes a ghost that arises in the face of the memory of the ex of the loved one.
It might sound a little strange, or difficult to understand, but it’s definitely a lot more common than you might think.
When a person suffers from Rebecca syndrome, they are desperate to know the smallest details about the life of their partner’s ex, with the intention of discovering their flaws.
In this way, instead of the relationship growing normally between the two people, there is the intervention of a third person, which becomes almost real as the evocation of his memory is frequent.
This syndrome is a brake on the development and well-being of the couple, because unfounded jealousy affects the normal behavior of the person who suffers from it.
This jealousy also affects the person who is the target of the jealous individual’s incessant questions and reproaches.
How to overcome “Rebecca syndrome”?
First of all, we just have to learn to live with the fact that our partner has had previous relationships.
Secondly, you have to understand that jealousy is a clear sign of insecurity, and a reaction to a supposed threat, whether real or not.
Jealousy also arises when a person views the other as their property.
Anything that distracts attention from something other than the couple causes jealousy, whether it’s a person, object, animal, hobby, or task at hand.
In the particular case of ex-relationships, you have to take into account that this story is part of the past, and that we all have one.
It is impossible and unhealthy to make comparisons, even though we often fall into this trap.
Looking at a photo of our partner’s ex-companion, we often think: “But what is he / she ugly!”, “He / she could have dressed differently”, or, conversely, “How handsome / beautiful!”, “What elegance!”.
If we suffer from pathological jealousy, no matter what image this photo sends us, we will always perceive the other as a threat, and we will systematically react in a negative way.
If you think you have Rebecca Syndrome, and can’t stop thinking about your partner’s ex, now is the time to take action to improve your self-esteem.
No matter what place this person may have in your partner’s life, keep in mind that this is the past and that it should not get in between you.
The only thing you will get with this behavior is a bad mood in your relationship.
Try not to compare yourself to your current partner’s past relationships, and this will save yourself a lot of pain.
There will always be things you do worse, or better, but don’t make it a worthy topic.
Provided by K-Kwan Kwanchai
